You have already made your choice.. now u have to understand it.

Those are the words of the Oracle to Neo. I guess that is how life works.

We all do things for which we fully dont understand the consequences. And sometimes we spend our entire lives trying to understand why we did it.

I am thinking of the number of people who decided they will give up a girl/guy for some reason and instead settled with an alternate choice.. But waste their entire lives wondering if life would've been much more colorful if the person they gave up was with them now. And, some who boldy go against the world to marry who they think is right and regret their entire lives for making such a choice.

Maybe that's why I am trying to hard to understand my choice. A choice to give Nitesh a second chance. I have'nt fully understood the choice. I didnt know it would be so hard to trust someone who you have trusted with your life earlier. I didnt know the consequences of this choice on my life. I am brimming with suspicion. I was never like this. I dont want to be. But I am. I guess second chances are even harder to give than a first chance. Thats because in the first chance, you dont expect much, there's nothing much to lose. But in the second chance.. you have everything to lose. Damn! I can imagine how a third chance would be..

I have made my decision.. Now i have to understand its consequences and the reason why I am doing this.. I guess the answer is 'LOVE'. It sure makes me go crazy ... But by the end of all this, am sure it will be worth the trouble :-)

Priya

Another blog

If I take a count of the number of blogs I have had, its 5.

Out of which 3 have been deleted, one has been discontinued out of lack of attachment to that virtual piece of my life, one is alive.. but it is being watched by predators who are just waiting to pounce on me for any little senseless bit that I tend to write.

Frankly, I am not sure if I can sustain this blog .. But I will try my best. This blog is from another google account, away from the watchful eyes of some unscrupulous elements. I hope this is safe, and my blog will again be my confidante and my canvas for exaggerated bullshit.

With that vivid introduction, I move to give a gist of episodes from life. Right now, life aint looking too good.

1. My boyfriend cheated on me and realized his mistake and I am on this see saw which cannot land on any side.


2. The cold war at home, thanks to my brother and his ever so beautiful wife is intensifying to an extent where invisible walls have been raised overnight.


3. I have nowhere to look for comfort and the only person I trust completely is on the scanner .. being intricately scrutinized if he is capable of being trusted again (If in doubt read point #1 again.. I refer to the same person)


4. Except for my career, I have no clue where my life is heading. Feels like I have ventured into the forest where Blair-witch project was filmed.


5. I am at a point where I believe I am incapable of making prudent decisions. Quite obviously, that is not a nice place to be in.

Right now, I can only look at 'him' and pray that I have made the right choice by giving him a second chance and drown my sorrows in his company. I am quite sure that I am not the one with the largest bundle of grief on my shoulders.. But it feels pretty heavy.

Hope.. keeps me human.